The Honest Advocate: Why an Honest Divorce Lawyer Who Challenges You Is the One You Need

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When looking for a divorce lawyer, what traits do you think are most important? Should your family law attorney be intelligent, passionate, innovative? What about honest? While candor might not be the first thing you think of when recruiting a legal advocate, here is why an honest divorce lawyer is the one you need.

Why an Honest Divorce Lawyer is Better

Lawyers often get a bad reputation in popular culture. You might be excused for assuming that the best lawyer is the one best able to keep secrets and tell lies. But you would be wrong. An honest divorce lawyer is far more likely to get you a fair outcome that puts your interests first. Here’s why.

Your Attorney is Both an Advocate and Counselor

Divorce attorneys play two roles: advocate and counselor. As an advocate, your lawyer’s job is to make your strongest case, negotiating with the opposing counsel, and arguing for your interests before the Friend of the Court Referee or judge. But it is equally important for your divorce lawyer to provide you with honest counsel and legal advice. This internal service is essential to making sure you know what to expect in court, and helping you prepare a strong defense, or reasonable settlement. If you hire an honest divorce lawyer, you can trust what they tell you, and you will be better set up for success.

Get a Clear Understanding of the Law

As a layperson, there is no reason you should know all the details and nuances of Michigan family law at the start of your case. If you work with an honest divorce lawyer, they will provide you a clear understanding of the law, without any sugar-coating or varnish based on what they think you want to hear. Through honest and candid conversations, your lawyer will help to fill in the gaps in your knowledge, and provide you with the legal framework the Michigan courts will use to decide your case. You can and should take advantage of your attorney’s knowledge of the law and the court where your case will be heard, including their experience with the judge and the local Friend of the Court.

Set Reasonable Expectations and Make Reasonable Offers

One reason this is so important is because, without honest legal advice, you may easily hold assumptions about the way your case will go that are simply not true, and contrary to Michigan law. Common misconceptions include:

  • What “full custody” means and non-custodial parents’ right to information and parenting time
  • Non-earners’ equitable interest in employer-provided retirement funds
  • Whether and for how long spousal support will be paid
  • Treatment of pre-marital property used to support the family
  • Values of business interests and the non-owner spouse’s interests

By having honest conversations about these and other topics with your divorce lawyer, you can correct false understandings and avoid unwelcome surprises when you get to court. By basing your negotiation efforts on accurate Michigan law, you can also increase your chances of coming to a reasonable settlement without going to trial.

Reduce the Risk of Post-Judgment Litigation

Another reason to work with an honest divorce lawyer is to improve the chances that your litigation ends with the entry of the judgment of divorce. When assets are concealed or omitted, or when important issues are left unresolved, it increases the chances that your spouse will file a motion, bringing you back to court, to address those issues after the fact. If your Michigan family court judge believes you hid assets intentionally (including if you failed to disclose them to your own lawyer), you could run the risk of those assets being forfeited to your spouse. Secrecy and deception only hurt your reputation with the courts. That’s why honesty is an important part of any divorce action.

Should You Tell Your Lawyer the Truth?

If you are resistant to the idea of hiring an honest divorce lawyer, it could be because there are parts of your story you would rather leave unsaid. You may be concerned that if you tell your lawyer the truth, it could hurt you in court. It is important to remember that, except if you are using the collaborative process, divorce and custody litigation is adversarial in nature. It pits you against your spouse or co-parent. If there are negative things to be said about you, he or she is the one most likely to do it.

That’s why you should always tell your lawyer the truth. The worst thing you can do is keep secrets from your lawyer. The more you don’t want something to come up in court, the more likely it will if your spouse discovers it. Having an honest conversation about the good, bad, and ugly parts of your marriage will give your lawyer time to separate the truth from exaggeration and develop a strategy to address the negative parts of your story, so you aren’t on the defensive when the issue comes up in court.

Lying to your attorney is even worse. An honest divorce lawyer spends time developing arguments and evidence to advocate for your best interests. But if that advocacy is built on a lie, it could easily crumble on cross-examination. That will leave your lawyer scrambling to respond on the spot, often lacking the important information and details needed to put the negative information in context and mitigate the harm. To guard against this, many lawyers’ retainer agreements allow them to withdraw from a case if their client lies to them or asks them to do something unethical or offensive.

How Attorney-Client Privilege Works

If you are worried about an honest divorce lawyer repeating the negative things you tell them or being called as a witness against you, don’t be. Michigan has specific evidentiary rules allowing you or your lawyer to assert “attorney-client privilege” and “work product” exclusions. Together, these tools allow you to protect the private conversations you have with your lawyer to obtain legal advice. That’s why it is best to only email your attorney from a private email account (never a company email), and to reset your password after separating from your spouse. If your spouse sends a subpoena or other discovery request asking for information about your legal strategy or secret information, your lawyer can assert your attorney-client privilege to protect your interests, and your privacy, as long as no third parties (like your employer) are involved.

Get Help from an Honest Divorce Lawyer

At NSSSB, we want to offer you honest advice and guidance to guide you toward your best legal outcomes right from the start. Our experienced divorce lawyers will advise you on the law and provide an objective perspective, helping you estimate your chance at success. Call 724-994-3000 or click here to schedule a consultation with an attorney. We will listen to the details of your situation, answer your questions, and help you decide if we are the right fit for your case.