For some people, going through a divorce is like flying in a cloud. You can't see anything. It's frightening, especially when you realize you are the pilot of this craft. What to do?
Get good advice. Divorce is a very difficult emotional ride. You need someone to help you go through the grieving that accompanies divorce and still manage all the daily obligations you have; parenting, work, caring for the home and caring for yourself and others who are dependent on you. Find a really good therapist who helps you understand what your emotions mean and how to manage them, so you can attend to those obligations.
Divorce is also financially challenging. If you have separated, you are operating with the same income financing two households that used to finance one household. This is tough. This may require finding more income, by one of you returning to work or increasing you work hours. It may mean dipping into your savings. It may mean asking for help from your family or friends.
It also requires you to take a hard look at your finances and determine where your money has been going before you can economize. It's important to also budget. Do not continue to spend (unless your family is very wealthy) as you did before the separation. Remember, every dollar that leaves your estate is not available to you for later division. If you have a financial planner, now is a good time to schedule an appointment. Talk with your legal advisor about getting financial assistance, if you need help understanding your finances or planning your future finances.
Divorce is a legal process. I tell my clients that the legal aspect of a divorce is like entering a strange country (court) where they speak a strange language (legalize) and engage in strange customs. As their lawyer, I am their tour guide. More than that, I can make their journey more comfortable by referring them to allied professionals, such as therapists, mediators, coaches, parenting specialists, financial professional and vocational experts who can make the trip easier for them.
Yes, divorce can feel like flying through a cloud. However, with a good team working with you, the ride can be a lot less bumpy.