Holidays, like Valentine’s Day, can be tough for people who are newly single, separated or going through a divorce. What can you do to keep your spirits up?
Change the tradition. If you try to re-create the holiday as though you were still with your spouse/partner, you will be disappointed. Buy your self the flowers you wished you would have received from your spouse or partner when you were together. Do something to take care of your self, such as a day at the spa with a friend, or get a massage by yourself. Organize family members or friends and do something together, such a see a movie or go out together, preferably not to romantic places.
Include the children. Instead of making it a romantic holiday, focus on those you love most and be sure they understand how deep your love runs. Plan something fun, such as making cards for each other or baking cookies/cupcakes. Take the children someplace fun.
Take the high road. If the children are making valentines for you and each other, give them permission to make one for the other parent too. Give them an opportunity to deliver the message in person either during the holiday or close to the holiday.
Redefine the holiday. It is really only one day. It does not have to be about romantic love. It is about letting those who we care about know that they are important to us. Sometimes that is hard to do when you feel rejected. However, the best way out of the funk is not to allow the person who rejected you to define who you are. You are important and loveable. Their taste or needs have changed. That does not mean that you are less of a person. Allow those who care about you to embrace and support you.
Planning ahead is the key. Do not allow the holiday to overwhelm you. Decide how you would like the holiday to be celebrated and then do it. Your children, friends and family will applaud that you are moving forward.